i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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