You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
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Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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