Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
