Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
