so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
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I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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