there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
