Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
