So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
