how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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