D3 body, D1 cock
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I could make wine with my vomit
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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