He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
