My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
