There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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