day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
