Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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