But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize