yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
