She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
