Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
