and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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