I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
