You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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