Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
