it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
