i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize