Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Even my vagina gasped.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
