Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My pussy is not your playground.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
