I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
