I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
