If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
my poor anus
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
