I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
