I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
