Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
