A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I lost the right to judge tonight
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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