I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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