I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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