The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
