is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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