you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize