Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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