How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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