belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
