I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
