GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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