I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
