ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
