I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Success! We fucked roommates!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
