You really coming over, don't trick.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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