It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
