I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
