I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You are a genius and a whore.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize