This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
