yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize