Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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