my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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