my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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