Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
